My feelings….

First time I want to share my feelings. I don’t know why…. Maybe I can feel beter.Maybe Not. I don’t know.

Love is very problem for people. And of course for me.Who would not want to be in love? Love is cry. Yep I know. Always cry not to laugh. If he love you You should be very lucy. But If he said “IT IS OVER” you can not lucy. Because you love him. What do you do first when you hear that word? I did not feel anything. Just I want to go so far. I do nothing. I could not think of anything. Just I wanted to go. I don’t know Where.

At the moment. I don’t feel anything. I am not here. I don’t know Where I am. My heart was broken. I want to cry. But I can not.

I am going. But He don’t know. I’m walking away from him. He is not even aware of it. When will he understand? It’s too late. I have decided. This time I’m determined precisely. He should be happy.

Anymore I will not be here. I am going. And You said me “IT IS OVER”………

 

If You Love Someone Who Has ADHD, Don’t Do These 20 Things…

ADHD

You wonder if everybody’s life is as chaotic as yours. Something’s not right.

Your child doesn’t act like the other children in the class. Homework assignments guarantee a night of fights, slammed doors, and tears shed. The teachers call you in for conferences weekly. Your husband gets fired again claiming all his bosses are jerks. You work overtime so your car isn’t repossessed. Your sister cancels every time you plan to meet for dinner. Your teenager is hanging out in the local piercing parlor. And your daughter can’t find her car keys whenever she’s walking out the door. Your relationships are constant conflicts.

You’ve considered splitting up, but you can’t afford to live on your own. You’ve thought of quitting your job, packing your bags, and running away. You’re tired all the time. You’re trapped, choking, and you cannot breathe.

Loving someone who has ADHD can make your life crazy if you don’t get a grip on it. The doctors prescribe medication. The therapists tell you what to do, but your home is as wild as a college frat house.

A person with ADHD can be hard to live with. The thought patterns and behaviors of a person with ADHD never go away. They are manageable, but that too, is a full-time challenge.

Without proper care, ADHD can lead to substance abuse, overeating, unemployment, toxic relationships, divorce, constant conflict, academic failure, insomnia, stress, anxiety and panic attacks. A person with ADHD has an active thought process of options, possibilities, and scenarios the average person cannot even imagine.

Eventually, reality bites. The rent is due, the electric bill is unpaid, and your checking account is overdrawn again. You’re exhausted from staying awake worrying all night. You want to run away, but your problems are like misspelled tattoos that stay with you wherever you go. There is hope. It doesn’t have to be that way. As a person with ADHD has to work through his challenges, you as his lover, parent, sibling or friend also have to learn coping skills to improve the situation. Don’t do these 20 things if you want to have a happier life together.

1. Don’t live in denial – Admit the truth.

Call the problem by its name: Attention-Deficit/Hyperactive Disorder. Your life will become easier when you identify it, own it, talk about it, and stop running from it. Admitting that it exists is the first step to freedom. There is no reason to feel ashamed. Many of history’s greatest contributions have come from people with ADHD. Scientists, authors, artists, musicians, and entrepreneurs have become successful because they have a creative vision that average people do not possess.

2. Don’t criticize – Judge favorably.

Realize that your loved one with ADHD is trying his hardest, even though it’s not good enough for your standards. Lighten up, go easy, and give them time. They will accomplish what they have to do, but not on the schedule you have in mind. Allow them time and space to accomplish their tasks. Influence them with love, not with criticism.

3. Don’t accept excuses – Encourage and inspire them to achieve their goals.

ADHD isn’t an excuse for an irresponsible lifestyle. It just means that what comes easy to you, may be difficult for them. It doesn’t mean that they can’t do something, it means that it’s harder for them. Simple tasks that you take for granted; such as opening mail, trashing junk mail, and placing your bills in a “to be paid” folder, feel like a climb up Mt. Everest to a person with ADHD. It doesn’t make sense to someone who doesn’t have it. Try to be encouraging, in spite of your doubts and disappointments. Point out the times when they suceeded.

4. Don’t be a coach – Be a cheerleader.

Stand on the sidelines; grab your pom-poms and start cheering. Words of encouragement have more power than insults and put-downs. Coaches arein-your-face critics. Their job is to point out the negative. Cheerleaders stand on the side, rooting for success, believing in their teams ability to achieve. Let your loved one with ADHD know that you are on the same team.

5. Don’t make unrealistic demands – Stay with the possible.

When a person with ADHD gets stressed out, an obsessive thought pattern of “what-ifs” begins. Screaming and shouting, “Just do it already. Stop making such a fuss,” will not break through compulsive thinking. Accept the fact that they may not be able to do what you want, when you want it, or how you want them to do it. If it’s something important, be specific.

6. Don’t give instructional lectures – Be respectful.

Lectures are not helpful if a person feels like they are being spoken to like a child whose baseball broke the neighbor’s window. If you have something to say, be sure to choose the right words at the right time. The timing of your conversations determines if you will be heard or ignored. Schedule a time to talk. Rehearse your speech so that it comes out as love, not control.

7. Don’t be impulsive – Practice patience.

Someone with ADHD is impulsive. If you are the rational thinker in the relationship, your ADHD loved one is depending on you  to be wise and patient. Two impulsive people reacting emotionally and regurgitating information at each other, does not make for a happy ending.

8. Don’t be a martyr – Call for backup.

Have a support team to help you through the struggles. You don’t have to manage everything alone. Call a friend, a therapist, or a loving relative. Find someone who just listens. If you don’t want advice or suggestions, a comforting shoulder to cry on can strengthen you and change your outlook

9. Don’t forget your goal – Prepare for a positive outcome.

Sometimes words come out that you later regret saying. They can’t be taken back. Hurtful words leave deep wounds. Keep your goals in mind. What would you like to accomplish? Ask yourself, if I say this will it lead to a negative or a positive outcome? It’s up to you. You determine the outcome. Go slow. Think before you speak.

10. Don’t feel guilty – Know that you are doing your best.

Feeling that your loved one is hard to love, or that you don’t like their behavior is a sad feeling to experience. If you’re a parent and are upset about your child’s behavior, guilt runs through your veins. It’s not your fault. You’re doing the best you can. You’re in a tough situation and you aren’t always sure which is the best way to handle it. Be gentle with yourself.

11. Don’t try to control them – Control yourself.

Intimidating or threatening does not inspire change. Trying to control people is never effective. When you don’t know how to motivate your loved one, think about how you can change your approach. You can’t control other people; you can only control your words, thoughts, and reactions towards them.

12. Don’t lean in – Step back.

Intense emotions are negative emotions. Leaning in and pushing a person to perform isn’t the most effective way to reach the result you desire. When stress is high and you feel like screaming, back off. Stepping back gives you time to breathe, relax, and readjust your thoughts.

13. Don’t label them – Be compassionate.

Judgment is easy; compassion is hard work. Don’t box them in as a “forgetful, lazy, disorganized mess,” or “someone who will never succeed.” Labels create pre-determined expectations that last for years. People become what you see them as.

14. Don’t say “never” – Nothing stays the same.

When times are tough, it’s hard to remember that tough times don’t last forever. Things will get better. Believe it. “Never” is a word of hopelessness. Start saying, “not yet.” The only thing constant is change.

15. Don’t say “Just do it” – Understand that they can’t.

An ordinary thinker cannot understand how a person with ADD/ADHD can’t accomplish the simplest tasks such as paying bills, organizing papers, and putting their clothes away. These tasks may be easy for you, but remember, the person with ADHD also has a hard time understanding why they can’t pay a bill or manage their mail.

16. Don’t be afraid to help out – Offer a helping hand.

It’s important to teach your loved ones how to be responsibly and independently. But also remember, that there are times when it’s okay to offer assistance. Even Einstein had a helper. His wife cooked for him, cleaned up after him and did his laundry because his high-powered mind was too busy discovering the quantum workings of the universe to take time to put his dirty socks in the laundry bin.

17. Don’t have unrealistic expectations – List what you love about them.

Accept your loved ones as they are. Just like with any other relationship, you have to look for the good, and stay focused on it. Never lose sight of the awesome qualities of your ADD/ADHD loved one. If it’s your partner, remember that their fun-loving, impulsive personality is probably why you fell in love with them. Go back to the beginning. Love them again, as if you first met them. If it’s your child, remember the feeling of holding your newborn baby in your arms for the first time.

18. Don’t neglect other family members – Spend time alone with them.

ADD/ADHD can take over your home environment, subliminally controlling everything and everyone in it. Spend time with other family members. They need you, too. Go to the movies or go get some ice cream with them. Remind them that they still exist for you. Hug them and hold onto them.

19. Don’t get mad – Pause for peace

Make peace in your home and your life your priority. The other lessons will soon fall into place if your home is a loving environment. Anger is easy. Staying quiet takes strength. Put your relationships before your feelings. You don’t have to veerbalize every comment that comes to mind. Place your ego on the side until your anger subsides.

Don’t ever accept abusive behavior of any type. There are certain relationships that are unhealthy, toxic, and need to end. Seek professional help.

20. Don’t forget to love yourself – Do something that makes you happy

ADHD relationships can suck the joy out of life. You realize that you haven’t laughed in a month. You forgot how to smile, and you can’t remember the last time you had fun. Make time for yourself. Do something that makes you happy. Have fun again, and do it often.

Let this little story inspire you:

After she received an ADHD diagnosis for her 7-year old son, a woman went to to the psychiatrist. Frustrated and distraught that she couldn’t handle her own child, she cried, “What more can I do? I’m doing everything I can. I don’t know how to handle my own child.” He looked at her and quietly answered, “Love him more.”

That wasn’t the answer she had hoped for. Through her tears, she pleaded for answers, “Love him more? I’m giving this child everything I can. I’m empty inside. I’ve got nothing left. How can I love him more?” “Try harder. Dig deeper. You can do it,” he answered.

When you love someone who has ADHD, they are a part of you. They live in your head and in your heart. You were chosen for this task. Love them more.

20 Amazing Things About Loving A Person With A Different Cultural Background…

Because of globalization there are more relationships that are inter-cultural. Such relationships are a celebration of love, trust, partnership, tenacity and tolerance as it provides the opportunity for growth and exciting challenges. Here are 20 of some of the best things about loving someone with a different cultural background.

1. You enjoy different treats

If you are in a relationship with someone from a different background, you have the opportunity to enjoy different treats other than you are used to.

2. You learn more about your loved ones taste in entertainment

It is interesting to discover your mate through what they listen to, books they read and movies they watch. Entertainment could be different to yours but it could tell you more about your loved one’s choice of entertainment. If you are American, there is a lot to enjoy from Bollywood if your partner is Hindu!

3. You have cause to travel to a new location

Get ready to book that flight ticket and get unraveled in the adventure of your life! This may happen because your loved one is from a different culture, so you are pushed to see a bigger picture of the world.

4. You have the opportunity to be a dual citizen

Sticking to your loved one means you have the opportunity to become a citizen of their ethnic group and further accepted to be a member of their community.

5. You accept the world of your loved one

Loving someone from a different culture becomes incredibly eye opening and helps you to understand other people’s belief and tradition.

6. Every meeting point is colorful

Whenever you meet each other’s families and relatives there is a distinctive exchange of identity, culture and opinions. Meeting each other’s relatives also offers a melting point of ideas and knowledge.

7. You can learn a new language

You wouldn’t want to mocked or caught bewildered every time your loved one speaks to his/her relatives. You want to be involved and this could lead you to taking an interest in a new language.

8. You have to teach so many things to your loved one

Teaching comes with an opportunity for humor, and challenges you to be willing to help. It also brings out compassion, desire and patience, qualities that are essential for your personal growth.

9. Your loved one is charming to your friends and families

When introducing your loved one to your friends and families there is something extra he/she brings to the meeting that adds charm and interest to both parties.

10. You test your love

Challenges and difficulties from clashing cultures test your love and makes your relationship stronger.

11. You relationship is unique

How do you feel when you are with a Bolivian and you are African-American? Excitingly different. Unlike other relationships yours has a spark of immense discovery, many eccentricities and exceptions.

12. You come to terms with being misunderstood sometimes

At least it will save you the worries and anxiety because you simply won’t be able to understand everything that’s happening. Some of us call it pants, others call it trousers, some call it soccer and others call it football, and these may dazzle you for some time.

13. You can tap into different cultural idiosyncrasies

Every culture and country has its unique sayings and proverbs. They way they greet each other in Japan is very different from that of Bolivia. However with time you start loving what the other culture does.

14. You have new holidays to celebrate

You have more good times to celebrate. You will have to party to new holidays and celebrations even if you have no idea what is being celebrated.

15. You start supporting two different teams during major sporting events

Now you have two teams to support during the Olympics and the World Cup. Something you may have being used to before. Even if you don’t want it, at least it keeps the excitement alive.

16. You learn to become more aware of who you are

When your culture meets another you start finding those elements you may not have found in your culture previously. You start realizing what your culture truly means and how you can portray it to your loved one.

17. You get stuck with each other’s accents

Certain cultures and accents limit their speakers from pronouncing certain alphabets correctly. For example someone from Hong Kong could want to say ‘plaque’ but says ‘plague.’ But this could be humorous for you as you start appreciating these elements in your loved one.

18. You appreciate your loved one’s skin color

When you are used to being surrounding by your own culture all your life and become in a relationship with a someone completely different, you tend reevaluate your thoughts on cultural and racial identity.

19. You learn so many ways to say ‘I love you’

Whether it is “I love/Te Quiero/T’estimo’” saying these and expressing them in a different tone and language other than yours is eye-opening to the language of love.

20. You are more tolerated as foreigner

If you make mistakes or have a misunderstanding because of certain things in your loved one’s culture you do not know about, it is easier to get away with it.

10 Romantic Relationship Myths Debunked…

10 Romantic Relationship Myths Debunked

Do you believe in myths about relationships? Often people believe popular myths about relationships, which can make their lives more difficult and stressful. However, many people find that their relationship become less stressful and more fulfilling after they stop believing the sometimes silly myths about relationships.

Here, we debunk 10 of the most famous relationship myths.

1. Your Relationship Should Be Like A Movie

Many people expect relationships to be like the relationships portrayed in romantic films, but they are often overly dramatic and painful. Don’t seek out drama as a sign of passion and love; a true sign of love is stability and consistency, and the ability to weather bad storms together.

2. If You Feel Doubt, You Must Be With The Wrong Person

It is normal to feel uncertain at times, especially if you plan to spend a long time with your partner. It is likely your doubts have more to do with your own personal fears, such as fear of commitment, rather than fears about your partner. Try to remember that feeling uncertain is very different to feeling unhappy.

3. True Love Is Unconditional

Many people believe that true love is unconditional, as many movies and books portray this as the most ‘real’ love. However, people often change – and that is normal and healthy.

You are with your partner because you love who they are, and it is more important to grow together, rather than to provide them with unwavering love.

4. Your Relationship Is Your Happiness

Lasting and true happiness comes from within. If you only find happiness in someone else’s love, or you don’t feel whole by yourself, you will find yourself becoming unhealthily dependant – which is unfair on your partner.

Take some time to be by yourself, so you can learn to love yourself first. Relationships are a chance for you to share your happiness with someone else, and to be with someone because you want them – rather than because you don’t want to be alone.

5. Jealousy Is A Sign Of Love

Jealousy is often a sign of insecurity, and feeling secure in a relationship is very important. Instead of fixating on your jealousy, try to work on your own confidence and being aware of your self-worth.

6. You Change For Someone If You Love Them

Compromise is normal in a healthy and happy relationship, but you should be compromising on the relationship – not the person. If you have to change yourself to be with someone, you will struggle to be happy with them.

7. My Partner Should Know How I Am Feeling

Many people expect their partner to be able to know and understand how they are feeling. However, sometimes even you may not truly know how you feel or what you need. At times like this you cannot expect your partner to know how you are feeling – but you can tell them you feel confused, giving them the chance to acknowledge your feelings.

8. You Should Do Everything Together

While it is a great feeling to share interests with your partner, it is important to still have interests of your own. In a healthy relationship you will still both maintain friendships, hobbies and careers – spending time with only one person is emotionally unhealthy and can leave you feeling trapped.

9. A Happy Relationship Doesn’t Require Work

Many people often mistakenly believe that a good relationship is effortless, and that both individuals are always on the same page.

The truth is you are both different people, and even the happiest relationships require work, effort and attention. Every day will not be perfect; sometimes life will get in the way and you will have to make a concentrated effort to make your partner happy.

10. Your Relationship Will Be Fight Free

Many people hope that they have so much in common with their partner that they won’t disagree. However, humans are complicated and opinionated, so it is important to realize voicing your opinion is fine – even when you do disagree.

It doesn’t mean you aren’t in love; it just means you care about each other enough to work through fights and respect each other nonetheless.