21 Questions You Should Definitely Never Ask A Londonder…

1. Can you meet me outside Oxford Circus station? I don’t know London that well.

21 Questions You Should Definitely Never Ask A Londonder
Matthew Lloyd / Getty / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

How about I just meet you in hell?

2. Are you sure it’s healthy to be going to the pub five nights a week?

21 Questions You Should Definitely Never Ask A Londonder
Thinkstock / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

I’m sure it isn’t, but do I look like I care?

3. Would you like to come to my party in Epping on Saturday night?

Would you like to come to my party in Epping on Saturday night?

TfL / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

I mean, I could come, but you know what I could also do? Not.

4. You look miserable, why aren’t you smiling?

21 Questions You Should Definitely Never Ask A Londonder
Thinkstock / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

Probably because you’re talking to me.

5. I fancy a fun day out, shall we go to M&M’s World?

21 Questions You Should Definitely Never Ask A Londonder
london-attractions.infos-world-london.htm / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

I’ve got another suggestion, how about instead, I just murder you.

6. What’s Chicken Cottage?

21 Questions You Should Definitely Never Ask A Londonder
N Chadwick / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed / Via geograph.org.uk

Are you serious right now?

7. What’s the point in all these big parks, can’t they just build shops there instead?

What’s the point in all these big parks, can’t they just build shops there instead?

8. So when are you planning to buy a place of your own?

21 Questions You Should Definitely Never Ask A Londonder
rightmove.co.uk / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

Just don’t even start.

9. Why don’t you just commute from zone 6 to save money on rent?

Why don’t you just commute from zone 6 to save money on rent?

TfL / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

I quite like spending my life not on trains thanks.

10. Actually, why don’t you just move up North?

Actually, why don’t you just move up North?

Thinkstock / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

You mean, apart from the fact that my job and all my friends are here?

11. Can you move down the carriage please?

21 Questions You Should Definitely Never Ask A Londonder
Oli Scarff / Getty / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

If I could move at all that would be nice.

12. It’s fine if I just play this music through my phone speakers on the bus, right?

It’s fine if I just play this music through my phone speakers on the bus, right?

Sure, but I’ll be putting this question on your tombstone.

13. I’d love to go on a date with you – how does Angus Steakhouse sound?

I’d love to go on a date with you – how does Angus Steakhouse sound?

commons.wikimedia.org(5462453588).jpg / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

Like you’re probably going to be eating alone.

14. Shall we take the cable car? What a cool and fun idea that was.

21 Questions You Should Definitely Never Ask A Londonder
Matthew Lloyd / Getty / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

How about you take the cable car, and I stand at the other side and cut the cables?

15. If pubs are so expensive here, why don’t you just drink at home?

If pubs are so expensive here, why don’t you just drink at home?

Stockbyte / Getty Images / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

Because then I will be drinking alone and will have to face up to my alcohol problem.

16. Dogs on the tube? Isn’t that kind of unhygienic?

Dogs on the tube? Isn’t that kind of unhygienic?

Leon Neal / Getty Images

Says the person sneezing then putting their hand back on the rail ಠ_ಠ.

17. I need to grab a couple of bits, can you come with me to Westfield?

21 Questions You Should Definitely Never Ask A Londonder
en.wikipedia.org / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

Of course I’ll come with you, I love making myself deeply unhappy.

18. What colour line are we taking?

What colour line are we taking?

Robin Edds / BuzzFeed / TfL

Don’t make me answer this in public.

19. Can we go to that cereal cafe?

Can we go to that cereal cafe?

Matthew Tucker / BuzzFeed

No.

20. If you fancy that person on the tube so much why don’t you just ask them out?

21 Questions You Should Definitely Never Ask A Londonder
Daniel Berehulak / Getty / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

Because that is creepy and also have you seen me?

21. How are you?

21 Questions You Should Definitely Never Ask A Londonder
Dan Kitwood / Getty / Alex Finnis / BuzzFeed

Fuck off.

Towns In England Have Painted “Duck Lanes” For Cute Little Ducks…

London, Birmingham, and Manchester towpaths have been given a new addition. DUCK PATHS WITH CUTE LIL’ DUCKS PAINTED ON THEM.

London, Birmingham, and Manchester towpaths have been given a new addition. DUCK PATHS WITH CUTE LIL' DUCKS PAINTED ON THEM.

Bethany Clarke / Getty Images

The new markings are part of the “Share the Space, Drop your Pace” program that aims to help develop more of a “towpath code” in England.

The new markings are part of the "Share the Space, Drop your Pace" program that aims to help develop more of a "towpath code" in England.

Bethany Clarke / Getty Images

A towpath is the term given to the little strip of sidewalk next to a riverbank or canal.

Really though, the ducks are just glad they’re finally getting the respect they goddamn deserve.

Really though, the ducks are just glad they're finally getting the respect they goddamn deserve.

Bethany Clarke / Getty Images

64 Things You Still Don’t Know After Living In London For Five Years…

Liu Yin / Getty Images

1. How to say Holborn.

2. How to say Marylebone.

3. Exactly how much a tube journey actually costs.

4. Or exactly when peak hours are.

5. How you’ve never met anyone who has ever been to an Angus Steak House, and yet it continues to exist.

6. Why Infernos has a carpet.

7. Why is it that you know that Infernos has a carpet, because it’s truly a hell like no other.

8. (Except perhaps The Swan.)

9. Where the quiet pubs are after work on a Friday.

10. Same goes for good beer gardens.

11. Why people would queue for an hour to eat their dinner.

12. Whether the Waterloo & City line is actually real.

13. Which exit to use at Elephant and Castle.

Robin Edds / BuzzFeed

14. What to do when Citymapper is down.

15. If you’ll ever be able to buy a house.

16. Why your friend who lives in a really nice part of town pays less council tax than you, and you live in a shithole.

17. Why the Circle line is called the Circle line when it’s clearly not a circle.

18. Why anyone would choose not to sit at the front of the DLR.

19. How to get to Battersea.

20. Why the District line drivers can’t fucking step on it once in a while.

21. Why someone will stand on the left when a hundred people below them are obviously standing on the right.

22. If Euston Square tube station has ever been used by a human being.

23. Why you can only buy a pasty in a train station.

24. How you can be in the middle of central London and not have any phone signal.

25. How to deal with the fact that you can be FREEZING, and then get on the tube and be sweating immediately.

26. Where really is up-and-coming .

27. Where the best Chicken Cottage is.

28. (This is a trick question, they are all perfect.)

29. And come to think of it, has anyone ever seen a Chicken Cottage close?

Robin Edds / BuzzFeed

30. Where all the cool kids go these days if Dalston is lame now.

31. How many floors the Oxford Street Topshop actually has.

32. Or does it just go on and on forever?

33. How estate agents sleep at night.

34. Why there is always a group of Spanish children on the tube at rush hour.

35. If you know loads of nice/normal people who use Tinder, where are all the nice/normal people on Tinder?!

36. Whether the curry houses on Brick Lane are actually good or whether there are just a lot of them.

37. If so, which ones the good ones are.

38. What the TfL trams look like.

39. How buskers on the South Bank get away with wearing a chicken suit and asking for your money.

40. Why there are buttons to close the doors on the tube when they don’t do anything.

41. And how there are people who get the train EVERY SINGLE DAY who still haven’t realised that these buttons don’t do anything.

Robin Edds / BuzzFeed

42. Why it’s so hard to ask someone out on the tube.

43. Or in a bar.

44. Or, well, anywhere.

45. No YOU have self-confidence issues.

46. Why people think it’s so dangerous.

47. Yes, by people I mean your mum.

48. Lol, “your mum”.

49. Why you don’t move somewhere where you could actually afford to buy a house before you’re 55.

50. Why the Bakerloo line is always so eerily quiet.

51. Why the Thames is quite that brown.

52. How to get a seat in Gordon’s wine bar.

53. What happens if you need the loo halfway around the London Eye.

54. Why they didn’t bother finishing the top of the Shard.

Robin Edds / BuzzFeed

55. If Cockfosters is a real place or whether they just made it up to give you something to smile about on the tube.

56. Who the fuck actually goes to the Trocadero.

57. Likewise, Ripley’s Believe It or Not.

58. And M&M World.

59. Basically, why does Piccadilly Circus exist?

60. If anyone has ever gone to Morden intentionally or whether it’s just drunk people who fell asleep on the last tube.

61. How the Central line can get quite that hot.

62. Why you’re here.

63. Why you’d ever leave.

64. And finally, whether those fucking engineering works at London Bridge will ever be finished.

25 Photos That’ll Make You Want To Pick Up And Move To London…

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14 Chicken Dishes Everyone In London Needs To Try…

1. Motherclucker, Brick Lane

Motherclucker

Motherclucker

Tea-brined, twice battered, buttermilk fried chicken that’s motherclucking good. Go for the strips, garnished with zesty lime to bring down the heat a little.

Find them on Facebook here.

2. On The Bab, Old Street and Covent Garden

On the Bab

On the BabKorean fried chicken that will change your life. Our reccomendation? The sweet/spicy Yangyum chicken. Share a medium if you’re not too greedy.

Follow them on Twitter @onthebab.

3. Butchies, Broadway Market

Butchies

Ailbhe Malone Butchies’ Dale Cooper burger (buttermilk fried chicken, lettuce, homemade pickles and lemon thai basil sauce) is the only reason you need to visit Broadway Market on a Saturday.

Find them on Facebook here.

4. Chick ‘n’ Sours, Dalston

Chick 'n' Sours, Dalston

Chick ‘n’ Sours This new-ish place does one thing, and one thing well. That thing is obviously chicken. Vibrant flavours, amazing crunch and their veg sides are truly delicious (try the Szechuan aubergines).

Follow them on Twitter @ChicknSours.

5. Chicken Liquor, Brixton

Chicken Liquor

Chicken Liquor A burger or boneless bites? The choice is yours. Although the Buffalo Chicken (left), with fried chicken fillet, hot sauce, red onions and blue cheese dressing looks very tempting.

Find them on Twitter @ChickenliquorUK.

6. The Orange Buffalo, Brick Lane (and also elsewhere)

The Orange Buffalo

The Orange Buffalo The Orange Buffalo are best known for their super-spicy wings. Get stuck in, but be prepared to need to cool down after.

Find them on Facebook here.

7. Clutch, Hoxton

Clutch

Clutch Triple-fried chicken is a clear draw, but the honey and sesame (right) are the real stars of the show. Come back at the weekend, they do a mega brunch.

Find them on Facebook here.

8. Tramshed, Shoreditch and Bankside

Tramshed

Tramshed The secret ingredient Tramshed’s buttermilk chicken wings? The Ribman’s Holy Fuck Sauce.

Follow them on Twitter @The_Tramshed.

9. The Clove Club, Shoreditch

The Clove Club, Shoreditch

The Clove Club For a fancier option, visit the (recently) Michelin-starred Clove Club. Their buttermilk fried chicken comes in a basket with pine leaves, and pine salt. It’s breathtakingly good.

Find them on Facebook here.

10. Whyte and Brown, Oxford Circus

Whyte and Brown

Whyte and Brown have some healthier options, but make sure to go for the buttermilk goujons to start. If you’re feeling really brave, try their roasted chicken skins (left) as a snack.

Find them on Facebook here.

11. Rita’s Bar and Dining, Hackney

Damian Erskine/ Rita’s

Rita’sPlay your cards right, and go to Rita’s for dinner. Start with the wings (left) and continue with a half fried chicken to share – served with a warm sausage gravy. YUM.

Find them on Facebook here.

12. Spit and Roast, various locations

Spit and Roast

Spit and Roast Whether it’s a buttermilk fried chicken bap (right), or chicken pieces (left), be sure to douse your meal in Spit and Roast’s signature secret hot sauce.

Check out their location schedule here.

13. Jinjuu, Oxford Circus

Jinjuu

Jinjuu A neat Korean bar and restaurant that serves a mean Korean fried chicken. Come on Sundays – you can order a whole fried chicken (to share, if you want).

Find them on Facebook here.

14. Chicken Shop, Tooting/ Kentish Town/ Holborn/ Whitechapel/ Balham

Chicken Shop

Chicken Shop Sometimes, you want a slightly healthier option. Chicken Shop’s chicken is spit-roasted, rotisserie-style, and comes served with their signature crinkle cut chips. Don’t forget to follow up with some apple pie.

Want an even more laid-back choice? Visit Fish, Wings and Tings in Brixton for arguably the best grilled wings in London.