The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is to celebrate. – Oprah Winfrey
The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is to celebrate. – Oprah Winfrey
Formal education is something everyone has to go through to a certain degree, and the knowledge it offers isn’t always that practical in real life. Life long learning is how you improve as a person, bit by bit and day by day.
Life long learners recognize the importance and joy of growth so they never settle for what they currently know and always seek for improvement.
Here are 12 signs these life long learners have in common – see how many of them you recognize in yourself.
Whatever problem or dilemma you currently face, there’s definitely at least one decent book that discusses it and presents a variety of solutions.
Reading is a great way to open up new horizons, train your brain and revolutionize your life. I can’t even count how many times books completely transformed the way I view the world, and it’s always a change for the better. Through reading, you can connect with successful people and learn from the lessons they share.
Life long learners love to get lost in books and do it regularly. Bill Gates knows that reading matters a lot: on his personal blog he reviews plenty of game-changing books. Due to technology, you can access a bookshelf of the wealthiest entrepreneur on this planet.
Whether it’s online or offline, there are countless courses you can participate in without spending a dime on it. These are great opportunities to connect with clever and like-minded people and learn from them.
Due to the technology, you can now gain knowledge from online programs, starting from coding through self-improvement to programs from top universities.
There are literally endless ways thrive and what life long learners have in common is squeezing as much as possible out of these opportunities.
Instead of spending your free time laying on the couch and watching TV, you prefer doing something creative and practical. You know every wasted minute is gone forever.
That’s why you’d rather practice your language skills with a native-speaker you’ve met, engage in local meet up or attend a class that teaches something you always wanted to learn.
Life long learners stay up-to-date with growth opportunities in their areas and participate in them frequently.
“Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity.”
John F. Kennedy
A clever mind combined with a body in a great condition is the best asset you can have. Our bodies were designed to run, walk, jump, swim, lift and much more. Leading a sedentary lifestyle harms both your physical and mental sphere.
Life long learners know the body is your temple. In order to make it flourish for as long as possible, they train regularly, move a lot and eat healthy.
Among Steve Jobs’ wise quotes, there’s one I like especially. It’s about connecting the dots. Each dot is some event or skill in your life, and it’s only when you go through these elements that you know how to combine them into something great.
Having a variety of passions indicates that you love to progress. By practicing different skills, you give yourself an advantage over the rest of the people. During hard times, you are more likely to to act intelligently and solve your problems with less effort.
If behind the efforts, there is passion and a deep desire to grow, your chances of a success are way higher, compared to when you are forced to learn.
Life long learners love to experience the constant growth and improvement. The breakthrough moments help them to notice the impressive change that took place because of the learning process. Any milestone serves as a driving force for further headway.
In order to keep growing, you clearly define your goals. Since you love challenges, a difficult goal doesn’t scare you. Quite the opposite, it keeps you motivated and engaged.
Research showed that precise and ambitious goals increase the performance of an individual. As we already agreed, life long learners are people who care about their performance, hence they never stop improving.
Smart goal setting is one of the tools to ensure constant growth.
A complete change can lead to incredible results. This is especially visible on the example of successful companies. Oftentimes, it’s that transformation which created space for their so-called overnight success. Twitter was originally created as an internal service to serve Odeo employees. Currently, it has over 300 million active users and is considered the second biggest social network.
As a life long learner, you know a change can lead to extraordinary results so you welcome it and stay open minded about making a shift.
Some people tend to think after a certain age, they are no longer allowed to start something and become successful. The truth is, it’s just a lame excuse not to leave the comfort zone.
Henry Ford was 45 when he invented the Ford Model T car, which is considered as the first affordable automobile.
Oppose misconceptions: there’s no wrong age to begin something. Sure, for some domains like becoming a professional athlete starting early is required. However, to learn and improve for its own sake, you are never too old.
“We now accept the fact that learning is a life long process of keeping abreast of change. And the most pressing task is to teach people how to learn.”
There’s nothing better than to see your surroundings getting involved in what you actively participate in. Oftentimes, the best way to achieve that is to inspire them and be the example. As Gandhi would say, you need to be the change you want to see in the world.
As a life long learner, you are extremely passionate about the constant growth and people around you can sense that positive attitude. As a result, they start acting similarly.
You always embrace discomfort as you know the path to success leads through hardship and countless obstacles. Instead of being afraid of facing them, you challenge yourself to overcome more and more difficult handicaps.
Every time you get out of your comfort zone, regardless whether you win or fail, you learn something new. That’s the part you love the most!
Knowledge is exploding, so you need to commit yourself to a plan for life long learning.
A sense of being clever enough is something you don’t experience. Without a doubt, you appreciate what you already know, but that’s never a reason to stop. You just know once you stop willing to learn, you lose the amazing privilege humans have, namely an ability to a never-ending intellectual development.
There are two words I consider one of the most powerful and influential, namely “yes and “no.” The right combination of them and using the right one according to the situation guarantees you more happiness, health and wealth.
To be nice and avoid hurting others, we often say yes though we feel like saying no. Whereas empathy is a good feature to have, being a people-pleaser has terrible consequences.
If you ever regretted saying yes, these 16 examples will help you to not make the same mistake again.
Some say time is money, but in reality, there’s one thing that makes time the real wealth. Namely, once it’s gone, it’s gone forever. Whereas money can always be made up, time never goes back.
Now, don’t misunderstand it with being insensitive ignorant, it’s far from that! When someone ask for your time, don’t say yes when it conflicts with your personal priorities. If you think this person deserves your attention, schedule one day of a month when you can devote your attention to them.
There is an adage which says don’t let your friends borrow money unless you don’t mind never getting it back. If you can’t accept them never paying back, it’s a sign you should decline. Borrowing money can destroy your relationships with other people and make your life really tense. Oftentimes, it’s better to deal with the temporary discontent when you say no than experience the problems later on.
When someone approaches you only during struggles, you are just a tool to solve their problems. It’s when somebody only takes and never gives that you should consider stop saying yes. Sure, you should contribute value to other people’s lives, but folks who batten on generosity are not ones who deserve it.
Saying no to a friend is tricky. You care about them and feel obliged to act accordingly. The truth is, a real friend will accept your refusal because they value your close friendship. It’s false people who leave you in case of disagreement.
Social pressure can be a huge obstacle to overcome. People expect you to go with the flow and please them. Saying no requires courage and confidence but oftentimes it’s a lifesaving decision. Every time you don’t say yes under a big group pressure, you clearly show your values which everyone respects even whey they don’t admit it.
Similar to the previous example, people in the crowd subordinate so in order to not stick out, you are expected to submit to their influence. But at some point everyone comes to the conclusion that fitting in is unnecessary and only causes regrets.
Different environments set clear expectations toward behavior within the group. Whereas some rules are necessary so the society can function, there are many dogmas you have a full right not to follow. Embrace who you are and don’t let the outdated doctrines change it.
Born among people who set religion and tradition as the highest priority, you are expected to worship these values. If, however, deep in heart you don’t consider them as truths, that’s a clear sign to refuse following them.
When I stated to my family that I see religion differently than they do, I faced disapproval. As the time goes by, however, the tension expires and you feel proud of being your true self.
Being able to do this is might be as hard as it is to differentiate between following your heart and being unappreciative toward your parents. They love you and want you to live the best life possible, but sometimes it’s you who knows better your deepest desires.
When you parents expect you to choose a certain career path, remember it’s you and not them who will be obliged to that lifestyle.
Be cautious, I don’t intend to make you lose your job! But then again, if you do have alternatives and your current boss destroys your life, maybe it’s time to say goodbye and part ways.
If you don’t respect your values, nobody will. You are responsible for what happens in your life and it’s the moment when you fully accept this responsibility when you can finally give your goals the top priority.
Today’s world attacks you with distractions on a regular basis. A skill to ignore stuff begging for your attention is invaluable to survive. Remember, whatever you decide to pay attention to, you might be neglecting things that actually matter.
I know it’s often hard not to lose your mind during the sales. And marketers are people who know it best. Various psychology tricks are applied to make you say yes and follow the sales funnel.
At first, you feel instant happiness, but then, as your wallet gets thinner and what you bought collects dust, you begin questioning whether saying no wouldn’t be a wiser decision.
As someone who likes to subscribe to interesting newsletters, I know how tempting certain offers are. You are presented with an almost perfect offer. As a result, a new need is created and a product for its satisfaction sold. But if you wouldn’t open the email, would you even desire that very product or service?
Television, Internet or Social Media, these are all the wonders of technology which revolutionized the world of communication and information. But if you don’t control them, they will control you. It’s easy to get lost staring at the screen and mindlessly wasting your time. Your brain tends to say yes to comfortable situations and time-suckers definitely count to that.
As we determined in the first point, your time is the most precious resource so protecting it is obligatory.
I disabled every possible digital notification, expect an app that reminds me to work out and it does it at the right time. But it wasn’t always like that. Facebook notifications would immediately catch my attention and destroy my focus. Almost any serious app makes sure to notify its users so they stay engaged and active.
Whereas it’s definitely beneficial to the founders, it’s incredibly harmful to yourself. Turn off every unnecessary notification and never again say yes to distractions begging for your attention.
The beauty of the human soul is not in the pretty face, it’s found within the heart, and hands of those who look, and stay. With all the daily violence going on around the globe, we might feel that the beauty remains in the pretty face only, the heart and hands are lost. But did humanity really get lost? The following are 20 pictures which will revive your hopes for the human condition, give you faith in our fellow humans.
This “Citizen of the Earth” saved a person from getting a car ticket. Very amicable person, don’t you think?
It seems that this gentleman has missed his train while helping this lady with her bags. No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.
Act like this reminds us that you don’t need a reason to help people.
Nowadays, people tend to believe that teenagers are not virtuous. Think again please!
Professors like him not only stop at teaching us our “education”, but extend further to teach us moral values we need as humans.
This fire fighter overcame more dangers just to rescue this person’s prominent family member!
One family rescued this orphaned fawn, and raised her with their other pets. And now she is just another member of the family.
Another kind soul gave up his umbrella to keep this kitten dry from the rain. Wonderful!
Wrestlers may have serious attitudes on the wrestling arenas, but they are human beings too! Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, while driving, saw this kid running after his car. He stopped, and found out that the kid was fighting cancer (Hodgkin’s Lymphoma), and it was his lifelong dream of meeting his favorite superstar. In return, the hero thanked him, hugged him, and took pictures with him. Both are superstars here!
A very selfless stranger has given this homeless gentleman his own kindle so that he would stop reading the only book he has, all the time. A Kindly person kindled humanity.
This is Dan. A genuinely wonderful soul, who, using his own money, treats the local cancer patients, nurses, doctors, and everyone in the cancer center to cups of coffee.
Who wouldn’t want a neighbor like good Gilligan? He reminds me of Art Hochberg’s quotes, “To help a friend is really good. To help yourself is also really good. To help a stranger is the very best.”
Imagine every restaurant owner makes progress like this, the starving population would decline drastically. Hats off to such initiative!
These strangers are not only kind enough to return an expensive item to its rightful owner, and bored, but have great sense of humor too!
It is not always the elders who act kind towards others, little children have similar ethics too. This note maybe small, but has great power to capture one’s heart. Thank you Anica!
A small generous act from a grocery store employee is enough to bring back faith in humanity!
We should have laundries like this to boost all unemployed people’s spirits. Brilliant action!
Another sports star, Rugby player Brian O’Driscoll has enthralled his biggest fan by a surprise visit to the hospital. What could be a better medicine than this?
The elderly man on the right is a barber, who doesn’t take money from haircuts, rather, accepts hugs as payments. Humanity restored beautifully, right?
And lastly, there was one person, a celebrity, a mother, a beautiful human being, who also happened to be a Royal Princess, set a true meaning to humanity through her works, and through her words. She said, “Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of a reward, safe in the knowledge that one day, someone might do the same for you”. Here is Princess Diana for you.
Are you looking for advice on things to do in London?
As part of our city guides series, we interviewed Lucy Dodsworth who lived and worked in London for over ten years, and is now starting to get to know London as a visitor instead of as a resident.
Lucy shares with us her insider tips on the best things to see and do, and where to eat, sleep, drink, shop and explore.
Take it away Lucy…
London is a real world city – with some of the most famous buildings, museums and galleries in the world and 2000 years of history to go with them.
But it’s not just looking backwards, there’s always a new bar, play or concert to see. It’s also one of the most international cities, with people from all around the world making their home here, so it’s just as easy to get Indian street food as it is a roast dinner.
Yes it might rain a lot and no people won’t smile on the Tube, but whatever you’re interested in – from museums to shopping, rock to opera, budget to luxury – there’s a London that will suit you.
Covent Garden was one of London’s early markets and the original marketplace still stands in the Piazza. But today it’s one of the city’s main entertainment and shopping areas, with stalls selling crafts and gifts rather than fruit and veg, with street performers and musicians, surrounded by bars and restaurants.
South Kensington is the place to go for museums, with the Natural History Museum, Science Museum and V&A are all in easy reach of each other. From here you can walk up to Hyde Park and Kensington Gardens, or window-shop at the seriously expensive shops in Knightsbridge.
Bloomsbury is London’s academic heart. It’s still home to the University of London, the British Museum and British Library, but was made famous by the Bloomsbury Group of 1930s intellectuals. You’ll find blue plaques on their former houses all around the area, along with garden squares and coffee shops.
You can find food from almost any part of the world in London – like Bangladeshi in Brick Lane, Middle Eastern in Edgware Road and Caribbean in Brixton.
Good-value food chains to look out for include Leon, Busaba (Thai), Tas (Turkish), Pho(Vietnamese) and Wagamama (Japanese).
Street food has really taken off in London too, try Portobello Road Market and the Real Food Market on South Bank.
My favorite London food market though is Borough Market with over 70 different stalls selling produce from the UK and beyond and lots of tasting samples. While you’re there, don’t miss nearby Neal’s Yard Dairy for amazing cheeses.
For a classic English tradition, it’s got to be afternoon tea. Preferably with a glass of Champagne to go with your sandwiches, cakes and pastries, all served on an elegant cake stand with a pot of tea.
Some of the most well-known places for tea are The Ritz or Fortnum and Mason. But I love the afternoon tea at the Kensington Palace Orangery, in a light airy building in the park.
Steer well clear of the overpriced touristy bars and clubs around the Leicester Square and Picadilly Circus. If you’re looking for recommendations in a particular area, check out the review on the Time Out website.
Some of my favourites are the Booking Office and Champagne bars at St Pancras – a train station might not sound the most exciting place for a drink but the setting is beautiful.
Or for city views, perfect for a sunset cocktail, try Vertigo 42 in the city and Paramount Bar in the Centrepoint Tower. And you can’t beat a cosy pub with a log fire in the winter, like The Flask in Highgate.
St Pancras Station
London’s West End has a huge choice of musicals and plays. For the best tickets either book in advance or try the tickets booth in Leicester Square on the day.
For cinema, small independent places like the Screen on the Green in Islington, Curzon Soho and Prince Charles offer a wide variety of independent and foreign language films.
For live music, check out Ronnie Scotts in Soho for jazz, the Barbican for classical, the O2for big names, and the Camden and Dalston areas for up-and-coming bands.
London’s not cheap, but you can find a few budget options.
London has a wide range of markets. Some of my favourites are Borough Market for food and drink, Portobello Road Market for antiques and fashion, Camden Market for vintage and alternative clothes, and the Colombia Road Flower Market.
Oxford Street is the city’s most famous shopping street, but it’s mostly full of chain stores and big department stores.
For more interesting independent shops check out Carnaby Street, Covent Garden or theKing’s Road.
Also worth seeing is Harrods, though more for its completely over-the-top décor – especially at Christmas – than for actual shopping.
London has hundreds of festivals and events each year, so you can usually find something going on whenever you visit.
For old-school British events, there’s the Trooping of the Colour in June, a huge military parade to celebrate the Queen’s Official Birthday (she gets to have two, her real one is in April) and the Lord Mayor’s Show in November.
Other major events include firecrackers and fireworks in Chinatown for Chinese New Year, the Caribbean style Notting Hill Carnival in August, cheering the runners at the London Marathon in April, and getting a glimpse into some of London’s normally inaccessible buildings over Open House weekend in September.
Central London is fairly walkable, but the city sprawls out so you’ll need to use the Tube or bus. Get an Oyster card to save money on transport – you load it up with money and touch in and out on the bus or Tube.
Also try the riverboat services along the Thames for a scenic view of the city. But watch out for line closures on the Tube at weekends and it closes every night around 1 am, so you’ll need to get a night bus or cab after that.
Free wifi access in London isn’t great but it’s getting better. There are free wireless hotspots in Islington and the City of London.
Otherwise chain cafes like Pret a Manger, Starbucks and Coffee Republic give free wifi to customers, and there are a whole load of other independent places with wifi listed on theTime Out website.
London’s weather is always unpredictable and if it’s bad then there are plenty of things to do inside.
In the summer you can spend time outside in the parks and at outdoor festivals and events.
But winter is a great time to visit too, with Christmas markets in Hyde Park and along South Bank, and outdoor ice rinks in the Tower of London and (my favourite for its beautiful setting) Somerset House.
In the summer I’d head an hour south of London to Brighton to paddle on the pebbly beach, eat candyfloss on the pier and check out the cool shops in the narrow streets of the Lanes.
Otherwise I’d head west to Oxford to see the famous university colleges, visit some of the museums and try out punting on the river.
London is a major international hub with five main airports – Heathrow, Gatwick, City, Luton and Stansted. But watch out as although they’re described as ‘London’ airports they’re often way out of the city, so you’ll need to get a train or bus into central London.
There’s also the international Eurostar train service which runs from Paris and Brussels right into St Pancras Station in the centre of town.
To see the ‘real’ London, get out of the centre to some of the outer neighbourhoods. Each has their own totally different feel.
Because of globalization there are more relationships that are inter-cultural. Such relationships are a celebration of love, trust, partnership, tenacity and tolerance as it provides the opportunity for growth and exciting challenges. Here are 20 of some of the best things about loving someone with a different cultural background.
If you are in a relationship with someone from a different background, you have the opportunity to enjoy different treats other than you are used to.
It is interesting to discover your mate through what they listen to, books they read and movies they watch. Entertainment could be different to yours but it could tell you more about your loved one’s choice of entertainment. If you are American, there is a lot to enjoy from Bollywood if your partner is Hindu!
Get ready to book that flight ticket and get unraveled in the adventure of your life! This may happen because your loved one is from a different culture, so you are pushed to see a bigger picture of the world.
Sticking to your loved one means you have the opportunity to become a citizen of their ethnic group and further accepted to be a member of their community.
Loving someone from a different culture becomes incredibly eye opening and helps you to understand other people’s belief and tradition.
Whenever you meet each other’s families and relatives there is a distinctive exchange of identity, culture and opinions. Meeting each other’s relatives also offers a melting point of ideas and knowledge.
You wouldn’t want to mocked or caught bewildered every time your loved one speaks to his/her relatives. You want to be involved and this could lead you to taking an interest in a new language.
Teaching comes with an opportunity for humor, and challenges you to be willing to help. It also brings out compassion, desire and patience, qualities that are essential for your personal growth.
When introducing your loved one to your friends and families there is something extra he/she brings to the meeting that adds charm and interest to both parties.
Challenges and difficulties from clashing cultures test your love and makes your relationship stronger.
How do you feel when you are with a Bolivian and you are African-American? Excitingly different. Unlike other relationships yours has a spark of immense discovery, many eccentricities and exceptions.
At least it will save you the worries and anxiety because you simply won’t be able to understand everything that’s happening. Some of us call it pants, others call it trousers, some call it soccer and others call it football, and these may dazzle you for some time.
Every culture and country has its unique sayings and proverbs. They way they greet each other in Japan is very different from that of Bolivia. However with time you start loving what the other culture does.
You have more good times to celebrate. You will have to party to new holidays and celebrations even if you have no idea what is being celebrated.
Now you have two teams to support during the Olympics and the World Cup. Something you may have being used to before. Even if you don’t want it, at least it keeps the excitement alive.
When your culture meets another you start finding those elements you may not have found in your culture previously. You start realizing what your culture truly means and how you can portray it to your loved one.
Certain cultures and accents limit their speakers from pronouncing certain alphabets correctly. For example someone from Hong Kong could want to say ‘plaque’ but says ‘plague.’ But this could be humorous for you as you start appreciating these elements in your loved one.
When you are used to being surrounding by your own culture all your life and become in a relationship with a someone completely different, you tend reevaluate your thoughts on cultural and racial identity.
Whether it is “I love/Te Quiero/T’estimo’” saying these and expressing them in a different tone and language other than yours is eye-opening to the language of love.
If you make mistakes or have a misunderstanding because of certain things in your loved one’s culture you do not know about, it is easier to get away with it.
Breakup is hard, but its lessons are enlightening. That is the beauty of life – you always find a truth in paradox.
It’s about us. Break up exposes lots of insecurities that have been residing inside us. Once you make an effort to tackle your inside babies, you actually realize breakup is all about us – not about them. It gives you scope for personal growth and makes you a lot stronger as an individual. However, never repeat the same mistakes again.
Break up is devastating and heart wrenching. Nevertheless, like every failure – you may lose in heart, but you gain in soul. You will be much more convincing as an individual and learn to deal with the melancholy of life with dignity. It gives you enormous strength to face life, even if it hits you hard. After all, you survived a breakup.
We all know that every cloud has a silver lining; break up is not an exception too. As Steve Jobs said, you cannot connect the dots by seeing forward, you can only connect dots by seeing backwards. So trust in life’s timing, you’ll surely find answers for all the predicaments of your life. All you have to do is just to wait with hope to find answers.
Nothing is more dangerous than your unguarded thoughts. Resentment is common but if you let that occupy your consciousness – the result will be too horrible even to imagine. The heart with resentment that had been the victim of unrequited love is the reason behind most crimes. So be cautious of your thoughts. Invest in yourself and believe that, if it is not mutual – it is not love.
Thanks to Maya Angelou. You might have ignored what your partner has said, just to convince you enough to be in “love”. So, when people show you who they are, believe them. It saves a lot of time and aggravation. If you pay attention to someone’s actions, and not their words, you will see the real person. I’ve learned this lesson in a hard way but you don’t have to after reading this.
I love being in love even when I’m not actually in love. I was craving for a secured person to fill up my empty heart by looking for love in all the wrong places. Mere attention, mixed signals would be enough for me to fall in love because I love being in “love”. Few breakups led me to realize this drawback. So withdraw from the temptation of being in love; if you are alone, it doesn’t mean you are ready for a relationship. Love yourself first – then give your heart to someone else.
You might have set aside all the beauty of life chasing love. I’m not denying the importance of love but chasing at the expense of life will leave you clueless. Do not ever frantically search for love to make your life complete. First, live life consciously – love comes to you on its own and makes your life complete.
Blaming is a coping mechanism to feel better about ourselves to the extent of masking reality. Do not blame, your partner has taken the choice – accept it. Being responsible for the happenings is scary but being responsible is also a power that steers you towards enlightenment and thorough understanding of your inner self. So stop blaming and start taking the responsibility for your own good.
We all would love to show our greatness to our ex and make them lament over leaving us. I’ve passed this phase too. My question is, “Why?” Simply forgive them and move on, it’s a sign of strength. Forgiving is strength. Not everyone can forgive, it requires lots of courage and maturity to grow beyond silly manifestations of greatness. Trust me – you gain everything by forgiving them.
Surviving a breakup is hard. We sometimes tend to feel so low that we call up our ex and share our feelings. However, do not do that – your ex is your ex for a reason and you should never want to poke the past expecting to ignite the flame of love again. It simply doesn’t happen. Moreover, it tells you a lot about you and your insecurities; clinging to the love that is unrequited makes you bitter. Remember you create your own reality.
Whenever life teaches us lessons, we tend to ignore them and repeat the patterns in our next encounters. The truth is, life goes on teaching you the same lesson if you repeat the same mistake. So keep the lessons and never repeat the mistake twice. If you do so, people consider your repeated mistakes as your behaviour and you will never move forward.
Break up is actually a blessing, its just a conspiracy of the universe to lead you to your soul mate. So, happy breakups folks till you find the One.
Before I met my wife, I had never been in a relationship which lasted more than a few months. The thought of being with the same person for a long period of time somewhat frightened me, but as I write this, I can’t remember why. That’s because the past six years have been filled with the most amazing love I could have possibly asked for. I won’t go on and on about what a fairy tale I’m living, but in all honesty, because we follow the points in this article, my marriage is as close to a fairy tale as can be.
When you first enter a relationship, all you want to do is be with that person. Nothing else matters; friends, school, and work all take a backseat to your new-found love. Not only that, but either side of the relationship might feel slighted if an offer for a date is rain-checked for a night. As you grow together, you realize that it’s important not to get too attached and let other aspects of life pass you by, and to let the other person have the same freedom that they allow you.
Once it’s been established that each person in a relationship accounts for two individual lives, it’s important for each to see the world from the other’s perspective. You can’t just have it your way 100% of the time; sometimes you have to do things you don’t exactly want to do. However, compromising can lead to whole new experiences you never would have had if it weren’t for your significant other. I wouldn’t be caught dead at a craft fair by myself, but going to one with my wife is another opportunity to create memories that will last a lifetime. The same goes for when I drag my wife to a Yankees game. By compromising, we introduce each other to a new world that we otherwise would never have known.
Along with compromise must come understanding. It’s one thing to compromise and be okay with your partner spending the night out with friends, but it’s much more important to understand why they need that time. Understanding a person’s needs is just as important as letting them have their way at times. By doing so, not only are they fulfilled, but you also are comfortable in knowing their intentions.
The best relationships work under the knowledge that there is only one person out there for the other. This understanding is truly important in allowing each other to grow separately and individually. It means that one can spend time away without the other constantly wondering what they’re up to. There’s a huge difference between not being able to wait until the other is home so you know they aren’t messing around, and not being able to wait until they’re home because you want to hear all about their night.
In order to move forward in a relationship, you must let go of the past. There’s no point in forcing your partner to carry a burden because they made a mistake months ago; and if it’s something that continues to pull at you, the relationship is doomed anyway. Bringing up past arguments only serves to rehash negative feelings. Serious couples realize each party will make mistakes, and they will grow closer as they let each other’s faults slip away.
True apologies work in two stages: the act of saying sorry, and the act of changing your behavior. Forgiveness also works in two stages: the act of showing forgiveness, and the act of letting go. Like we discussed, holding a grudge is nothing but detrimental to a relationship. Of course, if a party doesn’t hold up their end of the apology, it needs to be revisited. But the point of apologizing is to improve as a person and as a couple. Even the best relationships require hard work.
Just like letting go of grudges, serious couples don’t let petty annoyances get on their nerves. If you’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone, you can’t nitpick at the tiny things. And, like with grudges, if something small really pulls at you, the relationship isn’t meant to be. The mark of a true relationship is the fact that each of you knows everything about each other and looks past their insignificant negative factors to see the overall good person that they are.
Keeping feelings bottled up is a surefire way to ensure an explosion. Serious couples survive so long because they talk to each other. They lay their feelings out on the table and make it clear when something bothers them. Just like with apologies, an open line of communication serves to improve the relationship.
A common problem in society today is people have trouble discussing the “tough stuff” in person. Text messages, emails, even phone calls can all exacerbate an issue if one party takes something the wrong way. The most loving couples know they can face each other head-on in order to solve their problems, no matter how uncomfortable it may be to do so.
We all have secrets, and everyone has baggage. But the best part about being in a serious relationship is that you can let these secrets out, since you have someone to help carry your load. And as far as being honest with your significant other, there’s no reason not to be. From a logical standpoint, why would you want to spend time with someone you can’t be yourself around? And from an emotional standpoint, loving someone means being able to bare everything to them, good and bad.
My wife and I were together for five years before we even lived together, let alone got engaged. While this was partly due to her being in school and other aspects of our lives, we simply never felt pressured to jump into something we weren’t ready for. In those five years, I can’t begin to tell you how many of our friends moved in with a partner, broke up, and had to move back home; or how many got engaged and broke it off; or how many had kids before they were ready. We’ve taken it slow, but it’s because we wanted to know we were ready for the next step. On the other hand, we didpush our wedding up a year, because we were ready much sooner than we thought we’d be!
Everyone’s heard the saying “the honeymoon’s over,” which, to me, is a euphemism for “we’re in a rut already.” I don’t mean to be rude, or make it sound like my relationship is perfect, but that’s how that sounds to me. People in serious relationships never quite “get used” to each other; but that’s because each of them is always doing something to surprise the other. Something as simple as cooking a nice dinner, going out to eat on a Tuesday, or getting flowers “just because.” Making sure you never fall into a routine is how you ensure you never hit a snag.
Of course, serious relationships require fidelity. I guess this should go without saying. The running thread through this article is simply, if you have doubts about being with only one person, you’re not taking the relationship seriously. People in serious relationships can look at each other and know they couldn’t ask for anything more from this world besides the loving embrace of their soul mate.
Couples who plan together, stay together. They don”t just go about their day-to-day life, eventually reaching the points where they “should get married” or “should start a family.” They actively plan these momentous occasions. It’s part of the fun of being in a serious relationship: making commitments to take the next steps in life together.
We’ve touched on it in some of the other entries, but unconditional love transcends all else. True matches made in heaven are full of a love that is never-ending, through the good and the bad. There are no doubts, no hesitations, no hangups. You see past the other’s mistakes, and you love them with every fiber of your being, without question.
Dating can be incredibly intimidating. There are a plethora of rules that self-declared love experts have set in place. What not to say on the first date; how long to wait before following up; would it really be a bad idea to mention that restraining order? These can be tricky waters to navigate even if you don’t have a Ph.D. in dating. It can be increasingly so if you are dating someone who enjoys being alone, the classic introvert archetype. Being an introvert myself I can attest that us quiet peeps typically have a higher sensitivity level than others. While we don’t need to be treated with kid gloves, these 15 tips will help you to get the most out of your dating experience and to understand our psyche a little clearer.
It is important to know that in dating someone who values her alone time, it is highly unlikely that Friday nights are going to be spent consuming cocktails with work buddies at happy hour. Some people might blow off steam at the end of the week by chatting it up over a beverage or two, but for those that don’t crave that kind of social interaction, solitude provides an equally fulfilling sense of stress relief. Introverts don’t want to be completely alone, but they need people differently.
Here is the misconception about people who like their own company: they do actually enjoy being a social butterfly, just in small doses. Much like Cinderella at the stroke of midnight, these butterflies need to turn back into a caterpillar after an evening of social activity and have some quiet time to themselves.
Loners by nature lean to the side of introversion, meaning that they are typically harder to get to know initially. Much to their frustration, this can be interpreted by others as snobbery or a sense of being better than others. It’s not; it’s just a byproduct of being an introvert.
It’s worthwhile to think of loners as a slow burn rather than a fast-acting fuse. While they might not regale you with interesting anecdotes about their lives upon first meeting, give it time and they will open up. Once they feel comfortable with you, those barriers come down fast and their true personality shines forth.
If your potential mate has to leave a trail of dropped jaws behind him as he enters a room, dating a person who likes his own company might not be the best fit. You might not notice these people as they arrive at a party, but if you give them time and attention, your conversation might be the one that you remember long after the party is over.
While they might not be the ones initiating a group dance-off, they will certainly participate if they feel comfortable. If your date is feeling secure with himself in the situation you might be surprised as his inner James Brown awakens and he “gets up offa that thing” and embraces his inner dance machine on the dance floor.
By their very nature, people who enjoy their own company are typically deep thinkers. When they feel something, they tend to feel it with their mind, body and soul. So don’t be offended if they feel slighted at something you say. Sometimes even the most innocuous comment can send them spiraling back into themselves and it’s just harder to for them to brush it off their shoulders. They need time to process, so it is important to give them some breathing room.
Yes, you might have to think before you speak when dating someone on the sensitive side but it’s important to know that sensitive people are also typically highly attuned to the feelings of others. As a result they are less likely to trample all over you in conversation and more likely to actually listen to what you have to say.
Being so in tune with their feelings, criticism can often be a highly inflammatory source of tension. As a result, it’s important to know that these quieter types might employ certain tactics to avoid any criticism at all, which can manifest in the form of people-pleasing, being self-critical, or just avoiding the source of the criticism altogether.
Dating someone who needs her alone time means dating someone who is not afraid to get to know herself on a deeper emotional level. A byproduct of this is a sense of empathy which typically manifests itself in showing concern for you and any problems you might be experiencing. They are not afraid to sit down and go deep with you, figuring out the root cause of the issue. They are emotionally available, if not always physically available.
In a world where social media dominates, the level of exposure to each other’s social diaries is at an all-time high. This leads some to develop a real fear of missing out (FOMO) on any of the action. Not so for those that enjoy their own company. For the most part, they couldn’t care less if they have an open weekend ahead with no plans.
They don’t need to be seen at every party because their sense of identity isn’t attributed to how socially active they are. They enjoy dipping in and out of the social scene as and when it benefits them, followed by time to decompress. While dating a person who likes his own company means that you may not be out and about every night, those events you do attend together will feel more special.
It may feel sometimes that your date doesn’t seem to want or need you around them every second of their lives. They need their space in a relationship and at times it might not seem like they even need you in their lives. But don’t misinterpret their behavior–having their own space is of huge importance to them and as a result they are usually highly protective of it.
The good news is that there is plenty of breathing room for both of you in these types of relationships. There will be no Jerry Maguire declarations of how you complete them though; they simply aren’t interested in anyone completing them. They are interested in finding out who you are, what makes you tick and they will give you plenty of room to shine.
Sometimes it may seem that you are dating someone with a split personality. They enjoy being with you but also enjoy being with themselves. They enjoy being social but only on occasion. But in dating a human oxymoron, life can remain interesting and it is less likely you will feel that you are stuck in a dating rut.
While it is important to be mindful of the behaviors you might encounter with dating someone who enjoys being alone, the most important lesson of all is to accept them for who they are and not who you want them to be. In learning acceptance instead of expectance, there will be far fewer dating disappointments.